They are growing up.

The kids are growing up way too fast for me. There were times I thought I would never feel that way, but I do.

We took Abby's first park trip on Friday last week. This is her reaction. I am glad to see that she enjoyed it. It was a little chilly out for her, and she needed a nap, so she took one.

Nicholas loves the park. I am teaching him how to pump his legs on the swing so I don't have to push him. Sometimes he gives up and turns over and swings on his stomach. We use the big kid swings now, and he loves them.

This is Abby and Nicholas as we are ready for church on Sunday. He's a little tired (hence the glazed eyes). She's in her first dress. It is a 3 month dress, and is retired as too small. She's wearing 9 month legging underneath.

Either Carters has their sizing off or I have a big girl, or both - but that 3 month dress was too small at 2.5 months and the 9 month leggings were just right.

Today we went to feed the birds. This is a pond off Sunrise, and there were tons of birds there. Tons. Nicholas saw it from the road and made me stop so we could feed those birds. I tried to get him to wait and go to the pond in Anatolia, where he might actually be able to throw the bread into the water, but he wouldn't. So he tossed it as far as he could. I could make the water.

He wanted to run into the pond and feed the birds by hand. But I told him that's not how you feed birds at a pond. Maybe we will have better success next time. The birds did come eat eventually. As we were driving home they were all over there and Nicholas was proud to have fed the birds.

This is a picture of Abby from today. She's super big. Notice the red halo of hair on her head. We are proud parents of a red head. And she already knows that mom loves her - just read her onesie!

Baby driving

No, I don't mean letting the baby drive. I just mean it is different driving with a baby in the car.

I don't mean that you are more cautious (because I hope you are cautious whenever you drive). I just mean it it different, and it is different depending on the baby.

Both my kids are extremely sensitive to stopping. Not just stopping, but stepping on the brakes at all. Nicholas will sleep through most stops. But when you come to a complete stop at the light, or start slowing down on the off-ramp to the freeway, he wakes right up.

Abby will wake up if you tap the brakes. Her wakings tend to come with crying because she doesn't like her car seat. She would much rather be held or played with thank you. But she quiets down the minute you start driving.

So I drive differently when I have them in the car. With just Nicholas, or with just me, I go the quickest route. When they are sleeping, or I have Abby, I go the route with the least stops. This sometimes means going straight at a stop light when you wanted to turn left simply to avoid the crying. Or making 3 right hand turns and 2 U-turns to avoid waiting in the left hand turn lane. Or sometimes it means going way around a different route so you can avoid stop lights and stop signs. It is amazing how many different routes I know to common places - Costco, Target, church, stores - in order to prevent the crying baby syndrome in the car.

When she cries, he starts doing something - normally singing "Old MacDonald" - at the top of his lungs. As if the louder he sings, the quieter she will be, when it is really the reverse.

So baby driving - it is the term of the month and a skill I have developed. Never thought I would develop new driving techniques, but kids make parents do the darndest things.

Costco and the American flag.

There were two events this week that got me thinking about the state of society.

First, I saw someone putting up an American flag. But when they were putting it up they had laid it down on the ground to make it go up the right way. After years and years of things like Girl Scouts and the military, I know the American flag doesn't go on the ground. To be honest, I knew long before that because in elementary school we were responsible, once a month or so, for putting the flag up and down. We were told "The American flag cannot touch the ground or it must be burned." While that's not exactly in the flag code, the code does say that it shouldn't touch the ground, and when it is work it has to be burned. (See the full flag code here).

How do people not know this? I know there are people who don't follow the flag code. For instance, the code says the flag shouldn't be used for advertising. But almost everyone knows the flag is flown upside down only as a sign of distress. So how do people not know that the flag cannot touch the ground?

What made this particular incident all the worse was that it was at Mather. Mather is an old military base which is now a mixed-us airfield. It has civilian businesses, military units, and an in-use airfield. This flag pole was in site of a bunch of soldiers doing a pre-flight check on a helicopter. In fact, the soldiers were yelling at the guy (I had my window down to yell at the guy too, but the soldiers were doing it much better). I imagine if there hadn't been a huge fence in the way the soldiers would've taken care of the situation. But the guy quickly put the flag up the pole and ran inside. It was clear he heard all the yelling and wanted out as quickly as possible.

It's a sad state of affairs when the flag gets laid on the ground just because it is easier. I have put a full-sized flag up a pole by myself. It's not easy, but it can be done. It just takes some careful work. Moral of this story - don't put the flag up unless you are sure you can keep it from touching the ground.

Second incident happened at Costco. I am a huge fan of the store. Especially when they have great samples up. But when they only have one line open and expect everyone else to use the self-checkouts, it can be a bit hazardous. This is especially true when you have 2 kids in the cart, with one in a car seat. So if you see someone in front of you with 2 kids in the cart, you probably don't want to get behind them in line at the self-check. Or if you do, try not to huff and puff as if huffing and puffing is going to make me go faster. It won't work - it will probably make me go slower. And when you ask me, "Are you done yet?" The answer is no. Especially not if you see the big red diaper box under the cart and stuff in the cart. It just takes longer. So wait your turn or don't get in line behind me. When did it become okay to annoy people just because you think they are taking too long at the checkout line? How annoying.

Neither of these experiences make me think that society is doing well. I always open the door for people with strollers - even before I had to use one. It's polite. So is not huffing and puffing at people in front of you in line, and keeping the flag off the ground. If we cannot be polite to each other, what is next? What are you teaching your children if you cannot be polite yourself? Then don't be surprised when your children are rude to you if you cannot be polite to others.

Half of January is over.

We have had lots of fun in the first half of January. Yes, there have been trials, but we have had lots of fun.

Nicholas loves art. We do art every chance we get. In fact, sometimes the art gets out of hand. But that's what 2 year olds do. The other day he wanted to paint outside. What he was really asking for was paint and sponges so he can paint the patio. We have a patio out back and I let him paint it during the summer months. He paints it one day and the next day he "cleans" it with water, pails, sponges, and lots of splashing. This is a "green" activity because it saves paper. But it really just saves me the hassle of cleaning and setting things up. So we did this one day and it rained that afternoon. He was upset that the rain did the "cleaning" for him.

We also went to Marine World. We got season passes last year and I wanted to go one more time before they closed. So Jon watched the Rose Bowl with his dad and Nicholas and I went and played in the snow. And saw the animals, went on rides, went into the Shark Zone, and fed giraffes. It was a great outing for us. It didn't even rain while we were there, although it did rain on our way there and after we left.
Another favorite activity to do is puddle walks. He likes to splash. What better way to splash than jump in puddles? He really enjoys this and so do I. He wanted to go puddle walking a few times this year. Every time he puts on shorts. I think one time we went in pants and they got wet and cold, so he prefers shorts. And his fireman boots and fireman rain jacket. The rain jacket is something I insist on. So we bundle up, I put Abby in the Moby carrier and zipper the sweatshirt over her and we go on walks. He enjoys himself, I enjoy myself, and I think Abby would if she would just wake up. I put her in the carrier and she goes to sleep. Much like she does with tummy time.

We also play cars and trucks. He got this great construction truck set and I find myself making things out of blocks that he can "build" or destroy with his construction trucks. He has fun and I get to use a bit of imagination. Abby watches us from her bouncy chair and smiles every so often.

My cousin Angie got Abby a Madonna shirt and I just had to post a picture of it. What girl can be a true girl without a little Madonna in her life? This was the first time I have gotten Nicholas to hold Abby up right in a picture. He wanted to play with her and was reading her a book before I took the picture.

As a side note - I am so glad our couches are brown. I was reading this month's "Family Circle" magazine and they said a white-on-white decorating scheme is chic. This is a family magazine suggesting white furniture. They must be insane. Thank goodness for the brown microfiber. I can clean anything with a wet cloth and the brown hides things until I can clean them - don't worry, I do keep the couches clean. It's a nightly job for me. Just one of those things.

The second half of January is looking great too. Nicholas has new Sketchers shoes - courtesy of Grandma - and they light up. We went shoe shopping for me (I got the new Sketchers Tone Ups and they help my ankles and arches a ton so I am in a lot less pain). But Nicholas picked out new shoes too. The sales man brought out a ton of shoes in his size. The first ones he put on Nicholas jumped around in, saw they lighted up, and said he wanted these ones. Forget that the others lighted up too, or that one pair had flames and lights on them (how totally awesome). He wanted the first ones - which are cute too. Thanks mom!

We have plans, great plans. Mainly to get me enough sleep and well enough so I can make the transition to full time mom instead of part-time mom part-time work. So we shall see how this goes. I am looking forward to it and nervous about it in equal parts. But January is looking great.

Single motherhood

I know for many people single motherhood isn't an option, it is a fact of life. My mom was a single mom. Having been a single mom for all of 4 days right now (with 2 more to go before the husband gets home) I can say with authority - it sucks.

I don't know how my mom made it look so easy. I recall laundry always being done, the kitchen was clean, the floor was vacuumed, the bathrooms were spotless, there was food in the fridge, meals were relatively on time, and we had a schedule. These are things that have been dropped in my house. I feel like it is all I can do to keep the two kids clean and fed and happy and non-destructive (although I loose that battle a lot too). And bed time was a mess of course - Nicholas is used to his dad putting him to bed. In fact, he asked if he dad didn't like him because daddy was gone at bedtime.

He's too young to understand that Jon left to take his dad (Jon's dad) to Utah to see his sister - who died before they got there - and is staying for the funeral. So I resorted to something he understands - dad had to go away for work. Yes, this is a complete lie - although Jon is working via blackberry I am sure. But what else do you tell a kid? I had tried explaining it a few different ways and obviously none took. He loves his dad and his dad loves him - I certainly don't want him to think any differently. This morning he thought his dad left because he was bad and didn't put his toys away. Can you imagine the sadness I felt when I heard that? He's just too young to understand. So, daddy had to go away for work.

Now comes the confession - I certainly wouldn't want to be a single mom. I know it just happens for some people. And some people are forced into the role. But I have at least 2 friends who have chosen to be single moms. They got pregnant with the goal of being a single mom because they wanted a kid but couldn't find someone they wanted to marry. I thought they were nuts when they told me this - I now think they are certifiable.

I love my husband. He is a rock. He keeps me sane and stable. He helps with the kids, the dishes, the laundry, the chores, the errands, the playing with the kids, the running around the block after the 2.5 year old who thinks its funny to run away while going for a walk...but most of all he's there for me. He's stability. I know that when I simply need 5 minutes, he can handle whatever the kids throw at him. I also know that he's there to share. That is such a relief.

It sucks knowing there is no one around to help right now. I was afraid to go to sleep last night because I didn't know when the kids would wake up or if I would hear them (I eventually fell asleep and heard the kids wake up 2 hours later, then 3 hours after that, and 3 hours after that). We all got to where we had to go this morning.

But it took all morning to get laundry going and get food in the house. The kitchen and rooms are still a mess (thank goodness for friends who will come watch the kids Thursday AM so I can clean). I really don't know how single moms do it. It is not a state I like. It is simply something I have to deal with.

However, I do know that Jon arrives home in 2 days. And when he finally books his flight home I am sure I will know, to the minute, how long it will be before he comes home. Just two more nights of madness (hopefully). Then my support comes home.

Blogging block - aka Abby

So, sometimes I have to write a bunch of blogs about our activities and schedule their release. It's because I get blogger's block - also known as Abby. She does this catnap thing and wants to be held and then does baby things, and times it with her brother, so I rarely get time to blog. But I do this morning.

In case you are about to have kids, have kids, or are thinking about having kids you should know this - it is okay to not like your kids. You will always love them. But sometimes exasperation, annoyance, grumpiness, crabbiness, and all the other emotions add up to simply not liking them for a period of time. I'm have that time this morning.

It seems that they sense there are two of them and one of me. And things start going. At the same time Abby needs to eat Nicholas just has to have "coincidently" knocked over his milk/juice/non-water drink. He then says "Its an accident" and it really might have been, but I am suspicious none the less. Then Abby decides to start screaming for no reason right when I have to change Nicholas. It just gets going all day long.

And have you ever tried to take a toddler and make him sit for a whole day? He's got a soft tissue injury on his foot, and so he needs to sit and rest it or it will never get better (this sounds like familiar advice). But he won't sit. So I have to resort to Mickey Mouse Club House, Cat in the Hat, Handy Manny, and Super Why. That obnoxious high-pitched voice that sings and makes kids' songs is really annoying. Super annoying.

It's also okay to let kids cry and take a time out. My person timeout spot when I have the kids is the pantry. I just go in there for a few minutes. Beforehand I make sure everyone is in a safe spot, and then I go inside for a few minutes. Just a few minutes and I can come out all nice and relaxed. Or I throw them in the car and we go driving. Then they both end up going to sleep and I can drive through some nice scenery in the mountains.

Well, today is just one of those days. I just thought everyone should know. Tomorrow I will start posting with pictures again, since those posts are just so much cuter.

What a wonderful Wednesday

So most people make New Year's Resolutions. I am a few days behind. I am going to chalk it up to learning to be a stay at home mom with 2 kids. So everything runs behind.

My New Year's resolution is rather unoriginal - lose weight. How unoriginal actually.

After Nicholas was born it took me 2 years to take off 100 lbs from pregnancy and bed rest. I am praying it doesn't take me that long to do it this time (although it won't be helped by eating pizza for breakfast - since I am unsure if I get lunch I eat a big breakfast - yogurt, pizza, a banana and milk today).

So my resolution is to buy my summer clothes at Eddie Bauer and Down East Basics. Why these places? Because their stores don't carry plus sizes. I have been a plus size since I moved to Sacramento and went to law school. Before that I was large, but not that large. So I want to buy my summer clothes at a store that doesn't carry plus sizes. As an added bonus, if I can lose that much weight, my husband will have no choice but to let me go on a spending spree.

So here are my rewards - the first 10 lbs I get new shoes. Every 10 lbs after that I get new shoes. Why shoes? First, they are not food. If I give myself food rewards I will be perpetuating the problem. Second, I love shoes. Third, I love shoes. Fourth, shoes don't change (for me) with losing weight, so I can keep them. Fifth, shoes can really make outfits fabulous. I already have my sights set on my first pair - a leopard print, pointy toed, heel from Nine West. I'm happy.

I would use purses as a reward, but with a baby and a toddler I am going to be using diaper bags as purses for the foreseeable future. So purses would be fun to have, but rather useless for the next 2 years. Oh well.

So we will see how my journey goes. I took a before picture but there is no way I am showing it unless I also have an "after" picture to post. Otherwise, it is just a bad picture that makes me look HUGE.

Day one was yesterday. I ate okay and did the Day 1 of 3o Day Shred, so we shall see if I can keep that up. Not today - I am sore. So today we will walk. Which will be good for all of my family. Keep watching for more reports.