I don't know how my mom made it look so easy. I recall laundry always being done, the kitchen was clean, the floor was vacuumed, the bathrooms were spotless, there was food in the fridge, meals were relatively on time, and we had a schedule. These are things that have been dropped in my house. I feel like it is all I can do to keep the two kids clean and fed and happy and non-destructive (although I loose that battle a lot too). And bed time was a mess of course - Nicholas is used to his dad putting him to bed. In fact, he asked if he dad didn't like him because daddy was gone at bedtime.
He's too young to understand that Jon left to take his dad (Jon's dad) to Utah to see his sister - who died before they got there - and is staying for the funeral. So I resorted to something he understands - dad had to go away for work. Yes, this is a complete lie - although Jon is working via blackberry I am sure. But what else do you tell a kid? I had tried explaining it a few different ways and obviously none took. He loves his dad and his dad loves him - I certainly don't want him to think any differently. This morning he thought his dad left because he was bad and didn't put his toys away. Can you imagine the sadness I felt when I heard that? He's just too young to understand. So, daddy had to go away for work.
Now comes the confession - I certainly wouldn't want to be a single mom. I know it just happens for some people. And some people are forced into the role. But I have at least 2 friends who have chosen to be single moms. They got pregnant with the goal of being a single mom because they wanted a kid but couldn't find someone they wanted to marry. I thought they were nuts when they told me this - I now think they are certifiable.
I love my husband. He is a rock. He keeps me sane and stable. He helps with the kids, the dishes, the laundry, the chores, the errands, the playing with the kids, the running around the block after the 2.5 year old who thinks its funny to run away while going for a walk...but most of all he's there for me. He's stability. I know that when I simply need 5 minutes, he can handle whatever the kids throw at him. I also know that he's there to share. That is such a relief.
It sucks knowing there is no one around to help right now. I was afraid to go to sleep last night because I didn't know when the kids would wake up or if I would hear them (I eventually fell asleep and heard the kids wake up 2 hours later, then 3 hours after that, and 3 hours after that). We all got to where we had to go this morning.
But it took all morning to get laundry going and get food in the house. The kitchen and rooms are still a mess (thank goodness for friends who will come watch the kids Thursday AM so I can clean). I really don't know how single moms do it. It is not a state I like. It is simply something I have to deal with.
However, I do know that Jon arrives home in 2 days. And when he finally books his flight home I am sure I will know, to the minute, how long it will be before he comes home. Just two more nights of madness (hopefully). Then my support comes home.
No comments:
Post a Comment