Random Sunday thoughts.

It's the first Sunday after Christmas and I'm sitting at home with Nicholas, helping him rest. He needs rest because he lost his voice yesterday. It might have been all the yelling and excitement of having his telescope put together and getting to look through it and see stars. It might also be a cold. So to be safe, I stayed home from church with him to rest.

We watched GI Joe - the original one from the 80s - for 3 hours. I had so much fun with him.

Which made me think: What matters the most for me with my children?

The caramel might have turned out differently than I wanted, but it was more important that the kids and I did it together - that we had fun together and spent time doing something. The memories matter more than the caramel.

The answer: Having fun with them, raising them right, and showing them that I love them.

Those three things don't always go well together. Sometimes we have to punish so that they know they pushed their limits. Consequences come because I love my kids. I want them to understand there are limits. Consequences are the natural thing that follows when you break the limits. Rewards - good consequences - come when I see wonderful things happening.

So my New Year's Resolution to my children - the one about them - is that I will spend more time showing them that I love them. It's important. probably the most important thing I will do from here on out.

I mean more than just telling them that I love them. Showing love is totally different from saying love. They should know I love them when they jump at me and I catch them. When we cuddle on the couch, in a fort, or on a chair and read. When we pray together at night. When I take them outside and hike and go slowly so they can enjoy everything. We go on walks and take our time. When I slow our life down so that they have time to enjoy things.

It means that I have to focus on them - almost wholly - when they are awake. Not my computer, not my job, not work. Just on them.

This might mean less "stuff" going on at the Wunderlich house. But that's fine. It might mean more time outside- which is awesome. But what it means is more time doing the love stuff and less time just saying love.

It's going to be the one thing I can do for them that's going to matter the most in the long run.

Adolescent brains....

There's an interesting article over on Huffington Post today about adolescent brains and how they form ideas. The article states that so much emphasis has been placed on providing rich, stimulating environments for youngsters as their brain develops, that people have forgotten that the brain still develops as people get older.

Specifically, the adolescent brain is still developing the major pathways for making decisions. So how we, as parents, deal with their good - and bad - decisions will help them develop those pathways.

I wish there was a little more substance to the article: A little more research on how best to support these developing brains. Everyone seems to agree how to support younger brain development - but the older brain development doesn't get as many recommendations. I wonder if this is because people are scared of making others mad?

After all, if science came out and said something like, "When adolescent brains are developing, they need clear divisions between good and bad," - can you imagine the firestorm that would stir up? I certainly can.

It's funny that any number of political science and humanities studies have shown that the best indicator of how people behave and what beliefs they hold is......what their parents hold and how their parents behave. Is it possible that by surrounding adolescents with people who behave in "good" ways will make them good? The answer seems to be yes.

And if that's the case - then why would we surround our children with questionable things? Twerking and superstars who can't follow the rules of decency (like don't do drugs, don't spit on people, don't call people names) are not the people we want around our children. We want our children - especially our adolescents - around people who value themselves, who use their brains intelligently, and who behave with grace and friendliness.

If we, as adults, think we get influenced by our friends and surroundings - imagine how much more adolescents and children are influenced by theirs.

We have a role to play as parents - we must control what our children have access to. I'm not advocating full on censorship. But I'm advocating limiting access. We wouldn't let our children watch porn - so why let them read it in a book? We wouldn't want our children standing by while someone hurts another person - so why teach our children to do that with uber-violent video games? These are all things that we, as parents, can control.

But most of all, we can control what we tell and show our children through ourselves and the friends we have around.

If adolescent brains are still developing, just like toddler brains, then we need to be more careful, not less, with what we expose our children to.

Amazon subscribe and save/Amazon Mom.

I just discovered- and I know I'm late to the party - Amazon's Subscribe and Save feature. It's like Costco - but it delivers on a schedule to your house. For people like me - who hate to go to Costco with their kids but have no other option - this can save a bunch of time. I no longer have to deal with the toilet paper taking up so much of the cart that there's no room for everything else.

I also don't have to deal with going to Costco for it.

Best of all - I get 20% off my purchases.

How? It's easy.

First, sign up for the Amazon Subscribe and Save feature. Click here for a link.

Then sign up for Amazon Mom.

Then schedule your items so at least 5 arrive in each batch. If less than 5 arrive, you get 5% off. If 5 or more arrive, you get 20% off.

I've scheduled our toilet paper, clorox wipes, epsom salts, GF non-perishables (flour substitute, pasta), potatoes, soap, bottled water, kid's juice boxes. paper towels, laundry soap, baking soda (because we use it all the time - for lots of different things), vinegar (because it's used all the time too), lemons (my tree doesn't produce enough for me), shampoo, deodorant, toothpaste, and all kinds of fun stuff through here.

I no longer have to worry about these things - or forgetting them when I head to the store. They will simply show up on their scheduled times and at my house. I don't have to do anything else.

I'm loving this. It's great.

Thanksgiving - a bit late.

Who doesn't like Thanksgiving? I know the blog post is a bit late, like by a month, but better late than never. I'm going to try and write a blog a day, it's my new goal. I think I'm going to have to spend some nights just writing blog posts and scheduling them out. Hopefully they stay relevant for when I schedule them out. I hear successful bloggers do that - and I do it on the homeschool blog (www.wunderfulhomeschool.wordpress.com). Just not here. But I'm going to try.

I'm going to have to write the posts before I sit down and watch West Wing at night. It's my version of ESPN (watch it, get absorbed, then do nothing else). I don't know what it says that West Wing is my ESPN, but oh well. We had Thanksgiving with family. It was great. My sister takes great pictures and let all the kids jump on her (thanks Aunt Debby). I don't really let the kids do that right now because my stomach is still healing from the appendectomy. The incision pain and recovery might be less with the laproscopic procedure, but they still go through your stomach muscles which makes the recover just like a c-section. Except no new baby to take care of. Just you taking care of you - and being super sore and unable to do normal things like sit up. Thanksgiving was fun. We had deviled eggs, turkey, cranberry sauce - most of the traditional stuff. I made honey cornbread from scratch and it was amazingly good. I really liked it. So did the kids, and it has become somewhat of a regular thing here. Just some cornmeal, eggs, water, and honey. It's super easy and super good. Abby ate enough cranberry sauce to float a small boat. She's still eating it. I get it on sale after Thanksgiving because she likes it so much. Then she eats it for two months, then stops again until the next Thanksgiving. Nicholas just grazes, then begs his grandmother for ice cream - which she gives to him. It's been cold outside, but that doesn't stop my kids from jumping on the trampoline in the freezing cold. They find ice all over the yard, then move it to the trampoline and jump to break it. While in shorts and short sleeved shirts. Wouldn't it be fun to be that insensitive to weather again? Maybe not. But they love it and weather doesn't seem to cause them any difficulty. Well, it's Christmas season and we are going to be decorating right up until Christmas Eve. I love Christmas and decorating. I turn on the Christmas carols as soon as we leave my mom's house after Thanksgiving. And then they stay on until Epiphany. I love Christmas. So onto one of my most favorite times of the year.

The kids break trees....well boards.

We had an amazing thing happen recently...my kids broke their first boards. I was a teenager when I broke my first board. It was really cool. I still have the board too. Along with the board(s) that I have broken at important events - like testing. Board breaking is awesome. It is such a stress reliever and it shows that you really can use the kicks and techniques you have learned.

Nicholas breaks with his knee.

Nicholas wanted to go first in his class. He took a try or two to break, but he did it and he was super excited. He thought he would sleep with the boards. He ended up letting me just label them and put the in his box to save.

Abby breaks with her knee.

Abby was adorable. She's the youngest in her class - not the smallest though. She took a few tries too. I think she didn't really understand what she was doing. But she refused to be parted from her board at home. She danced around with the board saying, "I broke something, I broke a tree." It was really cute. A huge thank you to their teacher - Rachael - for helping them develop and grow and love karate. I think this is great for them and they love it.

Fantasy Football, karate, and school.

We do a lot of things at our house. Sometimes I feel like w do nothing but "do." So I love days when my kids are tired and just want to relax around the house. It can make it difficult to find the motivation to go to the gym, but it's fun to hang out with the kids and make popcorn, a fort, and watch some movies. We call these days "lazy days."

Unfortunately, they tend to coincide with my need to deal with my Fantasy Football team. And I should just note that no one should ever want to be drafted into my FF team. By week 4 - last week - players are hurt, and team members are dropping like flies. So I have to remember to always check my team. Or I'll end up with another disaster like last week. Nicholas is beginning to really like FF. He asks me about my team and wants me to "crush" his dad when we play each other. Too bad I have a feeling this will work the other way around. Maybe next year we can start a league with kids and their parents - then Nicholas can play too.

We are still in karate. All of us. Abby has been doing great since the ages are split up (4 and under/5-6). Nicholas has been doing much better too. But I really want him out of the Kinder Kicks class. Not because it's a bad class - but because he's older now and if he's going to progress in martial arts, he actually has to go forwards and learn. I'm testing for my second black belt - not my second dan (I have that already) - but my second black belt. The pretest is Saturday - I think I'll pass - and then the test is Nov. 1.

School is going well for the kids. I've found the best way for Abby to learn is base it in art. Nicholas likes science. Since I've switched our spelling words to science words, he's doing much better.

On a side note: I found this article on Pope Francis. I really think that's he's a great man of God. I know he's not my religious leader anymore, but you should really read this article. It's amazing. To read what he says about God, conversion, and taking care of people. It's clear that his focus is on treating all people as people - not treating people as a characteristic, a number, or an ethnicity. He's an awesome guy. I hope he changes the world for the better.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/10/01/pope-francis-interview_n_4023659.html?utm_hp_ref=religion

Our park playtime.

Hiking at the park. Nicholas decided not to wear pants and ended up with scratches. Now I don't have to argue with him about wearing pants when we are going hiking.

We love our parks. Not just because there's lots of play equipment there, but because we actually go exploring.

Exploring? At a park?

Yep.

Our park has a larger wild growth area next to it. The kids love to climb up the little dirt hill and then slide down it. Then climb back up it....you get the picture. Also, they love to go walking in it. They aren't the only ones - there are walking paths all through the wild weeds and stuff growing there.

In the rainy weather, there are large puddle and we can throw rocks into it our play in the mud. We can look in holes and find snakes, lizards, and rabbits. We even find the occasional squirrel.

My kids have learned to wear pants when they want to go exploring. It's something I thought experience would teach them better than me telling them. Now when we go hiking or outside into nature, they always want to wear pants. No more arguments. They learned because there are prickly bushes hiding in the tall weeds. And did you know they hurt when they get onto you? I did, but kids sometimes learn best with that lesson on their own. It also saves me by having one less fight.

The parks are where I can meet other moms; where the kids meet other kids. It's where social skills are practiced and developed. It's where kids can mingle across ages and grades and make up rules to their own games. Have you ever seen 10 kids trying to make up rules for a tag game or whatever game they want to play (somehow it ended up being pirates and Jedi's the last time)? It's a real exercise in negotiation. They are learning skills they will need later in life.

The park is where the kids get to challenge themselves. I don't have a 12 foot slide in the house, nor do I want one. But the park does. They can challenge themselves by climbing a rockwall or a rope. They can use the monkey bars, slide down slides, and jump down big things. These are all good skills for them to learn.

I really do love our parks.

Why do I always get asked.....

Abby with her red hair. Yes, it is a genetic trait that has to come from me and her father. No, it's not the focus of her life so stop always asking about it!

There are some questions I get sick of being asked. My main one is, "She has such gorgeous hair, where did it come from?" I have a few standard responses:

1. Her father and my mother have red hair (this is what I say when it's someone nice and older).
2. Her head.
3. Well, one night her father and I decided to have another baby (and people cut me off here).
4. Her genes.

Abby gets lots and lots of comments about her hair. A lot. It really is beginning to bother me. It's not just that it's really focusing on her physical appearance.  It's that it makes her focus on her physical appearance.

In a 30 minute shopping trip (from car to car), Abby's hair was mentioned to her 4 different times. 4 times!!!!!

So now Abby is beginning to equate "pretty" and "attention" with "red hair." She told Nicholas this morning that he wasn't pretty because he doesn't have red hair. Then she told me that only kids with red hair are pretty because everyone "likes" her.

I'm sorry, but an almost three year old doesn't need this pressure. She also doesn't need this focus.

She needs to be focused on being a nice person. She needs to be focused on learning to run and jump and ride a bike. Her idea of being "liked" shouldn't revolve around her hair. There's enough pressure on girls, and women, to look good later in life. She doesn't need the pressure now.

So would people stop pointing out her "gorgeous" hair. Instead say she has a nice smile, or she's being very nice. I don't mind strangers saying hi to my kids. My kids need to learn to be polite to people and say hi back. I do mind strangers focusing on the looks of my kids.

Nicholas' soccer pictures.

In addition to breaking my heart by refusing to cuddle with me anymore, my son has decided that he's too good to take baths, he can only shower. When I think about how's he's making all these big boy decisions, I'm reminded that he actually is growing up. Just look at him in his soccer pictures.

Abby's dance pictures.

We had dance pictures back in May, before the June recital. They just came in a week ago. Here's the pictures of my beautiful dancer.

Read it before they do.

There's a great article written in the WSJ that I spent some time reading today. Here's the link:

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052702303657404576357622592697038.html

The article basically says that Young Adult (YA) fiction is filled with themes that shouldn't be there. That there is a normalization of radical behavior going on in the fiction the kids are reading.. When a heroine of a story is described as a cutter who bleeds herself out  - then I start having a problem.

The darkness of the YA fiction isn't needed. It doesn't help kids deal with the issues that might make them engage in such behavior. Instead, it normalizes the behavior. If your kids are reading a box about teenagers having sex - then they are going to think it's okay. Compare that to some of the Judy Blume stuff- where kids work through their puberty issues instead of blatantly acting out on them.

Fiction exists to help us see the lives of others, to provide escapes, and show us what can be. Young adults have enough issues in their lives without their fiction being so dark. What happened to uplifting fiction? Is it not cool to be a hero anymore? Harry Potter isn't cool? What about Percy Jackson? Judy Blume? How about Tamora Pierce? All of these book/authors deal with crisis in their characters, and with puberty and emerging sexual feelings, without being grotesque and over the top.

So how do you prevent certain material from falling into your children's hands? You parent - spend some time reading the book before the kids do. It is time consuming - and the amount of YA fiction - and even kid's fiction - that I've had to read to find something for my kids to enjoy is ridiculous. But it is part of what I have to do as a parent.

Utah summer trip.

So this summer we went to Utah.

I just want to say that driving for long periods of time in a car when my children are awake is really not my thing. Last year we did this drive at night, and they slept the last little bit. This year we did the drive during the day and they only slept for a little bit in Nevada. We had breakfast in Reno and then headed out on the long drive. Which was made better because Jon had found a bunch of random parks in areas where we might be stopping. So every time we stopped, we got to go to parks and have lunch at a park and all kinds of fun. That was fun, but the drive certainly wasn't.

 We stayed at an apartment in SLC that I had found on airbnb.com - that has only one room of air conditioning. It was really hot. And we had fun. We went to the SLC temple and the visitor's center and did the touristy thing.

We also got to spend time with cousins. Jon's brother lives outside of SLC and we did a lot of hanging with cousins. The kids had a blast and didn't want to leave.

One place we've found that we love in Utah is the Hill AFB museum. They have tons of planes, helicopters, and jets. They are all inside and outside. The kids can look at them closely. Nicholas has decided he wants to fly the jets - although I'm sure that will change. They have a reasonably priced gift shop that I love going to and letting the kids get all kinds of planes and tanks. I really love that museum.

After all the Utah trip we went up to see Jon's aunt in Idaho. And we went ATV-ing. I'm against ATV-ing when you are reckless - too many injuries. But when going flat and stuff - it's a blast. the kids loved it. Abby loved it more than Nicholas - she's a bit more reckless. And they both loved going through the mud a lot. 

Did I mention we went to Thanksgiving Point with the cousins? We had a blast at the dinosaur museum and the farm. The kids loved the dinosaurs. And the interactive exhibits were the best.

We went to the dairy in Idaho. The kids liked seeing if they could get the calves to lick them.

We also went to the rodeo - I had a ton of fun. We sat really close and got dirt and bull snot on us. It was a lot of fun. The kids really liked the carnival beforehand.

And at Susan's - where we stayed- she had a bunch of apples off her apple tree and wanted Nicholas to play with them and pick a bunch of apples off the tree. So Nicholas decided to decorate her fence with the apples.

We had a lot of fun with family. We got to see Jon's dad who moved to SLC in May. It was a lot of fun. 

My summer reading.

I got some summer reading done! I figured since it is almost the end of summer, I'd post my list. Those of you who know me well know that I'm a bit eclectic. I like to think of it as a bit cheap. I have an eReader (Barnes and Noble's Nook) that I love and couldn't do without. But I like the free books - unless I'm reading something already established.

So here's the list that I went through:

Classical Education
Bella Andre's Sullivans Series
Kathleen Brooks: Bluegrass Undercover series and Bluegradd Brothers
Ilona Andrews: Kate Daniels series (the new one came out, so I had to re-read everything)
Art with Kids
Brad Thor
Everything your First Grader Needs to Know
Great Minds
Raising Your Gifted Child
Mercedes Lackey: Elemental Masters Series
How the States Got Their Names
Thirteen American Arguments
JFK, the biography
Don't Think of an Elephant
Jennifer Estop: Elemental Assassin's series.
Nicole Chase: Suddenly Royal

So that's what I've been reading over the past few months. It took me a book or two to get into Jennifer Estop's series, but the rest I liked from the get-go.

Memorial Day

Memorial Day is important because it reminds us about those who have fought or the freedoms we enjoy. So after we did a little family lesson about Memorial Day we headed out to the Discovery Space and Science Museum. 

It's nice to do these things when Jon is home because each kid can explore the way they want and a parent can be with each child. Nicholas loves space and science and he loves this museum. 

What else are we doing today? Well, if it doesn't rain the plans are for a pool trip and the gym. Hopefully this kids take naps so we can finish painting our room. 

Gluten-free, blueberry ricotta cake.

So I wanted to bake tonight. I found this great recipe that I wanted to try.

http://www.eatgood4life.com/2011/06/ricotta-and-blueberry-cake.html

From www.eatgood4life.blogspot.com

So I left out the sugar, because we are trying to reduce the amount of sugar we eat in the house. I figured it was fine. I also substituted gluten-free mix for the flour and lemon for lime juice. 

I made a blueberry sauce for the top - so that was good. A good sauce can mask a whole host of problems with a cake.

It turned out okay. My family liked it. I think it is as good as blueberry muffins. And so my kids will eat it for breakfast tomorrow I'm sure. After all - when offered blueberry cake or cereal, who can blame them for choosing cake? I certainly can't.

Marshall Gold Discovery State Park

The Marshall Gold Discovery State Park had their Junior Ranger kick-off on Saturday and we decided to go. It turns out the park is pretty awesome. In addition to the Visitor's Center and trails, they had interactive exhibits and a great river/beach/picnic area. It was a wonderful day. I couldn't have asked for anything better. The drive wasn't that long, and we stayed from 10a until after 2p. It was a fabulous day. The whole thing was free- except for the day use fee for the park.

The kids got to see what an old school schoolhouse looks like. The tour guide asked Nicholas to turn on the lights and Nicholas looked up at the ceiling and said, "There are no lights." It was a pretty awesome moment to see that he does -sometimes - internalize things that I teach him about the world. They sat in the old school desks and listened as a kids' day was described. He was thrilled to learn that, like him, kids in the old days didn't have school work because they had chores after school time.

So we ate lunch at the "north beach" area. The kids actually ate sandwiches. And I've decided that we are outgrowing out little cooler and are going to need a bigger one soon. We also played in the river.

The kids had a blast in the river. They simply played and played all afternoon long. It made for some very, very tired kids. Jon skipped rocks and spent a while trying to teach Nicholas to do it. Nicholas simply preferred to throw them and make big splashed. Abby wanted to find the rocks that were thrown. It was pretty fun watching them all play.

The water was FREEZING cold. But the kids loved it. I even waded in with them for a bit.

But we all had lots of fun playing and hanging out by the river. I think I need to remember that we simply need water wherever we go. If they have water, the kids are happy.

A great picture of her and her dad.
One that I'm going to keep for a
long, long time.

They were so tired they didn't want to walk to the car - we also had temper tantrums about having to leave the water. Jon solved all these by slinging the kids over his shoulder and carrying them to the car.

The kids were asleep in the car all the way home. It was perfect.

Our arty family.

So. We are doing a lot of art projects these days. I finished stenciling the bathroom wall and putting up the chair rail. The kids painted canvases for the bathroom and the flower pots for the front yard. And I made my first stain glass pattern for the front hall.

Not everything turned out well. The kids' stuff looks great. My stained glass does t look great. It looks funny. But Nicholas traced the same stain glass pattern I did and his looks fabulous. It just isn't fair. Well, onto mosaics I guess.

A very fun weekend.

We spent Saturday with my mom. She came up and we visited the Discovery Space and Science museum. It was the perfect size for my kids and had a great outside area to play in.

We had a lot of fun. Abby got a magnifying glass that has been stuck in her hand until dance class this morning. Nicholas has a space shuttle that has been sleeping with him and helping him fly around the neighborhood.

They also got special pennies that are the bet behavior incentive ever because they don't want to lose their pennies.

Jon really likes the humans sundial thing outside. Nicholas and Abby liked the little stream. They got so worn out.

Finished the bathroom.

I finished the fun part of the downstairs bathroom. I stenciled and put up a chair rail to protect our wall. The kids have taken the doorstops and so we needed something to protect the wall. Therefore, we got a chair rail.

Here's the best picture I could get.

Post-Valentine's Day wrap up.

We celebrated Valentine's Day in style with our homeschool group. They takes in more candy at our event than they did at Halloween.

We've been having fun painting a lot. So much so that I need to go get more paint. I'm starting to make mosaic pieces. It's a lot of fun. And the kids can make them too.

Nicholas and I started karate. Tae Kwon Do actually. It's going well. I'm sore on a regular basis. I guess that is good.

Jon just had 5 days off so we put together the trampoline. Now my kids jump all morning. Nicholas wants to take the hose onto it and jump in water. I'm not so sure about that.

Now if only I'd get to work planting.

Oakland Zoo

We went to the Oakland Zoo this weekend with our friends Annie and Chris and their kids. it was a blast.

They have a great kids area with lots of animals and play areas. Our kids loved that. The giraffes were cool. The elephants were great. The lions and tigers were just hiding and relaxing.

The best part of the whole day was when the giraffe peed and the other giraffe tried to drink it. Nicholas laughed so hard. And then the face the giraffe made was so neat. It was hilarious.

It was a good time with the friends. It was hilly, so pushing the stroller with 2 kids was not fun. We got lunch there and it wasn't too outrageous. A goo time was had by all.

Christmas wrap up.

We went to the free Sacramento Zoo and Fairytale Town on Christmas Eve. We were there 20 minutes before it opened, and there was still a line. However, we had a blast. We were in and out of the zoo in about an hour, and Fairytale Town took 2 hours. It was a blast and it wasn't too crowded when we were there. Cold, yes. Crowded no.

Okay. Well, it's not Valentine's Day yet, so I can still write our Christmas post. My kids were cute at Christmas. I was totally expecting them to wake up at 4a, but they slept in until 7a. So that was nice. Then they waited patiently while we did the opening of presents: At our house one person opens one present at a time, and you go in order from youngest to oldest. Then once all the presents were opened, we did the stockings.

My mom and my sister came later that day and hung out for lunch and play time. My kids had a blast with all the toys from Grandma and Aunt Debby. They are still playing with all of them. I have to, daily, navigate around the obstacles that are created for the remote-controlled Lightening McQueen race course. And feed the pony. We have to feed the rocking pony that Abby got everyday. Her name is Ina, and she also gets fed food from their play kitchen - once again - every day.

I did make this dress for Abby. I used the 4T pattern and it is waaaaaay too long. I made another dress with a different 4T pattern and it is not too long. So I will have to work on that a little bit.

In other news this year:

Abby has started ballet lessons at Hawkins in Folsom. She really likes her class. Miss Robin - her teacher - gets all 10 girls in line and doing ballet properly. At least as properly as it gets at this age. Abby follows her directions really well.

Nicholas is continuing with riding lessons. He's doing pretty well. He manages to trot on the lunge line - so he doesn't have to steer while trotting. It is the goal of his instructor to have him enter a walk class in shows come the spring. It is my new goal to make it through a horse show without going broke. 

Jon and I are doing great. Nothing new to report. We are still married :) He and I still love playing games - he generally wins if there is any element of luck involved. 

I promise to post more often now in the New Year.