The joys of SPD.

SPD.  Sensory Processing Disorder. 

Unless you know of it, it can be hard to describe to people. What it involves is a child who simply processes thins differently in their brain. What it means is that the kid sometimes seems out of control. It can look like in a bad parent. And it can look like constant temper tantrums. 

Abby has some SPD issues. She also has anxiety. I've been told that until the anxiety gets managed, it will be hard to handle the sensory issues. 

But that doesn't mean we don't try. 

So somedays we have to stay inside while I deal with temper tantrums. Why inside? Because you can't give into the temper tantrum and I need her to participate in sensory and calming therapy so she learns alternatives and her brain learns. 

And then there are days like today. 

It started as a fight over BBQ potato chips. For breakfast. And ended in a day long temper tantrum that not even McDonalds could cure. 

She wanted the BBQ chips because of their texture and taste. So I offered her bacon. Normally the two are interchangeable for her. Not today. The chip bag was hugged. I actually had to hold her upside down to get her to release it. 

At which point she got anxious and started her seeking behavior. Which for her is chewing and touching. Roughly. I could t find her teething necklace to give her but she grabbed my hand to chew. Lovely. She didn't mean any harm. She just was chewing because she needed the stimulus. I got hit because she's tough when seeking. Two glasses got knocked over (as a side note, those unbreakable plastic cups are breakable). 

None of the redirection and sensory therapies helped. 

So we missed play group. I missed the beach today- which normally calms us all. And she had a rough day. Finally, about 4, play dough came to the rescue as she finally engaged with it. 

You might wonder why I tell this story publicly.....

It's because we also had to drop Nicholas off at soccer camp and there were snide comments made about me not being able to control her. And how I must be a bad parent because she's out of control. 

Well, no. She's got a processing disorder and was in the middle of a fit. She's not the boss of our lives and we still had to drop Nicholas off at camp. 

So the next time you see someone with a child who Isis heaving, think twice before judging. Because that parent and hold might be struggling with something you don't know. 

Abby is a normal girl. She speaks normally. She talks and walks normally. Even though she can mostly be found dancing and singing, she's a pretty normal three year old. To all appearances she's just a regular kid. 

To me she's my daughter and I do everything I can to help. But sometimes it's not enough and I still have to deal with meltdowns while our normal life goes on. 

Don't judge when you see a "regular" kid like her melting down. Something irregular might be happening in their brain. 

Santa Barbara here we are.

It's been two weeks since the move. Two weeks since I lost my big kitchen, amazing washer and dryer, and big yard. 

We've relocated to Santa Barbara. 

And I miss almost nothing. I miss my big washer and dryer the most. Everything else- well we are along due. 

The garage has been converted into a playroom/office. All I need now is some amazing bright fabric to hang on the walls to convert the "garage" look into something else. 

We are also almost unpacked. I have myself a month. But if I would just stop going to the beach all the time, I could be done in a day. 

As I write this I'm at the beach. We are listening to the waves. The kids are digging a really big hole. 

I've started running again. Running is not something I've enjoyed. Except - as it turns out- I can run along the beach and I really enjoy it. I also have a jump rope in the back patio, so I can do some body weight exercises and jump rope there. 

It's a pretty good relocation. Jon is loving his new job. He has plenty of problems to solve and is enjoying solving them. We really do like the more relaxed pace down here. 

When the house finally gets put together I'll add some pictures.