Our park playtime.

Hiking at the park. Nicholas decided not to wear pants and ended up with scratches. Now I don't have to argue with him about wearing pants when we are going hiking.

We love our parks. Not just because there's lots of play equipment there, but because we actually go exploring.

Exploring? At a park?

Yep.

Our park has a larger wild growth area next to it. The kids love to climb up the little dirt hill and then slide down it. Then climb back up it....you get the picture. Also, they love to go walking in it. They aren't the only ones - there are walking paths all through the wild weeds and stuff growing there.

In the rainy weather, there are large puddle and we can throw rocks into it our play in the mud. We can look in holes and find snakes, lizards, and rabbits. We even find the occasional squirrel.

My kids have learned to wear pants when they want to go exploring. It's something I thought experience would teach them better than me telling them. Now when we go hiking or outside into nature, they always want to wear pants. No more arguments. They learned because there are prickly bushes hiding in the tall weeds. And did you know they hurt when they get onto you? I did, but kids sometimes learn best with that lesson on their own. It also saves me by having one less fight.

The parks are where I can meet other moms; where the kids meet other kids. It's where social skills are practiced and developed. It's where kids can mingle across ages and grades and make up rules to their own games. Have you ever seen 10 kids trying to make up rules for a tag game or whatever game they want to play (somehow it ended up being pirates and Jedi's the last time)? It's a real exercise in negotiation. They are learning skills they will need later in life.

The park is where the kids get to challenge themselves. I don't have a 12 foot slide in the house, nor do I want one. But the park does. They can challenge themselves by climbing a rockwall or a rope. They can use the monkey bars, slide down slides, and jump down big things. These are all good skills for them to learn.

I really do love our parks.

Why do I always get asked.....

Abby with her red hair. Yes, it is a genetic trait that has to come from me and her father. No, it's not the focus of her life so stop always asking about it!

There are some questions I get sick of being asked. My main one is, "She has such gorgeous hair, where did it come from?" I have a few standard responses:

1. Her father and my mother have red hair (this is what I say when it's someone nice and older).
2. Her head.
3. Well, one night her father and I decided to have another baby (and people cut me off here).
4. Her genes.

Abby gets lots and lots of comments about her hair. A lot. It really is beginning to bother me. It's not just that it's really focusing on her physical appearance.  It's that it makes her focus on her physical appearance.

In a 30 minute shopping trip (from car to car), Abby's hair was mentioned to her 4 different times. 4 times!!!!!

So now Abby is beginning to equate "pretty" and "attention" with "red hair." She told Nicholas this morning that he wasn't pretty because he doesn't have red hair. Then she told me that only kids with red hair are pretty because everyone "likes" her.

I'm sorry, but an almost three year old doesn't need this pressure. She also doesn't need this focus.

She needs to be focused on being a nice person. She needs to be focused on learning to run and jump and ride a bike. Her idea of being "liked" shouldn't revolve around her hair. There's enough pressure on girls, and women, to look good later in life. She doesn't need the pressure now.

So would people stop pointing out her "gorgeous" hair. Instead say she has a nice smile, or she's being very nice. I don't mind strangers saying hi to my kids. My kids need to learn to be polite to people and say hi back. I do mind strangers focusing on the looks of my kids.

Nicholas' soccer pictures.

In addition to breaking my heart by refusing to cuddle with me anymore, my son has decided that he's too good to take baths, he can only shower. When I think about how's he's making all these big boy decisions, I'm reminded that he actually is growing up. Just look at him in his soccer pictures.

Abby's dance pictures.

We had dance pictures back in May, before the June recital. They just came in a week ago. Here's the pictures of my beautiful dancer.

Read it before they do.

There's a great article written in the WSJ that I spent some time reading today. Here's the link:

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052702303657404576357622592697038.html

The article basically says that Young Adult (YA) fiction is filled with themes that shouldn't be there. That there is a normalization of radical behavior going on in the fiction the kids are reading.. When a heroine of a story is described as a cutter who bleeds herself out  - then I start having a problem.

The darkness of the YA fiction isn't needed. It doesn't help kids deal with the issues that might make them engage in such behavior. Instead, it normalizes the behavior. If your kids are reading a box about teenagers having sex - then they are going to think it's okay. Compare that to some of the Judy Blume stuff- where kids work through their puberty issues instead of blatantly acting out on them.

Fiction exists to help us see the lives of others, to provide escapes, and show us what can be. Young adults have enough issues in their lives without their fiction being so dark. What happened to uplifting fiction? Is it not cool to be a hero anymore? Harry Potter isn't cool? What about Percy Jackson? Judy Blume? How about Tamora Pierce? All of these book/authors deal with crisis in their characters, and with puberty and emerging sexual feelings, without being grotesque and over the top.

So how do you prevent certain material from falling into your children's hands? You parent - spend some time reading the book before the kids do. It is time consuming - and the amount of YA fiction - and even kid's fiction - that I've had to read to find something for my kids to enjoy is ridiculous. But it is part of what I have to do as a parent.