Silly things husbands say.......

So my husband has to be king of saying silly things to his pregnant wife. After the last pregnancy, I didn't think he could get any -well - more ridiculous.

See, while I was in labor with Nicholas, after 4 hours of full-blown level 10 contractions, my husband says "Can you get the epidural? I am tired and want to go to sleep." I mean, really? He still hasn't lived that one down. Who says that to a laboring woman? Like I was not tired or something.

But today, he has reached new heights. Things aren't going great and I needed him to come home for my emotional well-being (which is currently in doubt, as is my sanity for doing this again!). So we were sitting there (Nicholas was playing) and he had his hand on my stomach. He says:

1) Wow, your stomach is so big.

2) Do you feel that/do you see that?

3) That must not feel very good.

4) Wow, she's really going for it.

5) What part of her is this that is hitting me?

I mean, really?

I don't need someone to tell me my stomach is big. The views in the mirror, the lack of ability to bend over, the inability to see my feet, and my aching back all tell me that. As do the elastic pants I wear and the stretch tops. I really don't need to hear it from my husband.

And what would make you think I didn't feel that? I mean, if you can feel it on the outside, and see it, chances are I am feeling it. She is inside me, kicking through me to get to you. I am pretty sure I feel it. And it is a little disconcerting to see the baby move. I know husbands and older children think it's cool - but that baby is inside me. It is my stomach moving. It is a little strange.

I know she's going for it. Once again, it's my stomach.

And how am I supposed to know what part of her is hitting me? It's not like there is a ton of room in there. It could be any part of her. Unless the baby is known to be head-down or butt-down, it could be any bumpy/angular/round part of her. I mean, really.

What is worse, is he was laughing as he said all this. I mean, I understand laughing on your own. But doing it while it is occurring, while your wife is wincing, seems a little inconsiderate. I mean, there I was, wincing, and he's laughing. It's not like I don't have bruises on my stomach from her already. You can stop laughing now.

Anyways, I told him he should refrain from those things. He said "sorry" and then proceeded to give me the afternoon off. So I guess he's forgiven - I get a whole 2 hours to myself!